Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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