his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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