As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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