I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize