Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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