Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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