everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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