dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
