You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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