i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
