So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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