bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
