BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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