Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
