Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she smelled like a LAN party
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
