so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
