dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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