Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
