I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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