...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
