I wanna bring you to show and tell
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
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He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
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You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize