I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize