He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
