So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
