Duck Duck Cougar?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize