Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
