Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
are you so shy because you have an std?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
