I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
