yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
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I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
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And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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