Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
