We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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