just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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