Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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