I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
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