just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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