I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize