Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
