They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Soap is not a condiment
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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