All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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