You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
