your parents love me but you hate me
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
