im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
you inspire me to be a worse person
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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