The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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