If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
