I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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