What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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