Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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