do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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