do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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