p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
