Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
