I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
