Your tits are I can't wait for
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
