He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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