the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize