enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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