Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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