Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
