guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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