You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
How does one acquire holy water?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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