I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
