I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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