id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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