508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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