Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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