Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
